The EC's and PitFTW's Novelty Smasher Contest!
by The Element Commander
Summary: Hey you! Yeah, you. The one reading this! We need you to create a parody of a famous novel, but using Smash Brothers characters! Want to make a Smash Brothers version of The Catcher in the Rye? This CONTEST is just for you guys, and we need entries galore! Hurry! Or else Master Hand will make us clean Wario's bathrooms! THE CONTEST IS OVER! THANKS FOR JOINING AND WATCHING, EVERYONE
1. Let's Announce! (And argue!)

The Element Commander's and PitFTW's Novelty Smasher Contest

It was all hunky-dory at the Smash Mansion. The bluebird (Falco) was chirping, the cat (Mewtwo) was meowing, and two authors were bickering at each other. Because that's apparently what authors do. And it just so happened that these two authors had a... strange argument.

"Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second! Are you saying that you can write a better Cartoon Parody Intro than I can?" a male teenager asked, crossing his arms rebelliously.

"Most definitely!" an older girl said in a very defiant way, "Are you kidding? What have _you_ got? Marcus couldn't survive two minutes in my Guardians Arise world!"

"Objection!" the male exclaimed, "Marcus made it through your world for at least a half an hour before he had to leave! Let's see your little Guardians make it through We are the Smashers 2's portals! Marcus is a master when it comes to portals!"

"Yeah, sure." the teenage girl said, rolling her eyes, "Until you realize that he can basically never make a clean landing after going through one. What kind of a master can't even make a nice landing?"

The male huffed. "All right, then, if that's how you want it. PitFTW, I am challenging you to a duel! Right here, right now!"

PitFTW scoffed. "Me? Against the little Element Commander? Well, this will be a cakewalk! It'll be as simple as stepping through flowers, except I'll be stepping on your face!"

"Oh, you want to go there, huh?"

"I already did! What now?"

"Grr!"

"Grr!"

The EC and PitFTW each put their hands on the other's shoulders, gripping them very tightly. They pushed and pulled, trying to overpower the other by knocking either him or her to the ground.

"I'm better than you are!"

"You're stupid if you truly believe that!"

"Lousy maggot!"

"Stuck-up pinwheel!"

"Uh... rusted lamp!"

"Ah... um... broken wire!"

"Er... jammed mechanical pencil!"

"Do you want a drink or something?! Slimy Vaseline Crate!" The EC shouted, still tugging on PitFTW's shoulders.

"No, I'm good! Nerdy iPad Stylus!" PitFTW replied, still shouting.

"Pesky walrus!"

"Immobile Windmill!"

All their screaming and shouting of incredibly stupid insults caught the attention of Master Hand, a giant white glove who had no arms. Good thing he hadn't been paying attention earlier, or else he would have shot the two by now.

"What is going on here?!" he exclaimed over the noise of the two wrestling authors.

The EC and PitFTW suddenly stopped and glanced at Master Hand while still gripping each other's shoulders. It was an odd sight, really. You had a male author bending down to grab the shoulders of a much shorter author, who was standing on her tiptoes to try and reach the shoulders of the male.

EC released PitFTW, pointed at her, and shouted, "She did it!"

PitFTW released EC, pointed at him, and shouted, "He did it!"

Master Hand just floated there as if he walked in on something totally stupid. ...Okay, maybe it was stupid. "...What's wrong with you guys?! Can a guy get any peace and quiet in this place?! I was just relaxing in my own room when I hear the screaming and shouting of two authors in this room!"

"This scene reminds me of the intro for Yin Yang Yo, actually." The EC said.

Master Hand looked as displeased as a gloved hand could. "All right, you two. I've had enough of your bickering and shouting and screaming and hollering and-"

"Awesome looks?" PitFTW and EC suggested.

Master Hand pretended he didn't hear that statement. "I've gotten so tired of this stupid nonsense that I'm going to punish you two severely! Get ready to do the scariest thing ever!"

"Watch another Bob Hope special?" EC asked.

"Make fun of the Disney Channel?" PitFTW suggested.

"NO!" Master Hand shouted, "I'm going to have you two judge a contest!"

The two Authors blinked slowly, then...

"AAAAAAHHHH!"

"It's your punishment for keeping me sleepless, so deal with it!" Master Hand shouted over the screams of the two people in the room, "Okay, how about this? I'll have someone tell you two what the entire contest is about! Oh, Link!"

The green clad swordsman walked into the room, his green hat on his head as usual. However, there was one thing that was different about the Hero.

"Link?" EC asked, "What is with the monocle you're wearing?"

"It is an artifact of antcieantical proportionals that clearly establishes anyone with higher wits." Link said, trying way too hard to sound smart and professional.

"Antcieantical proportinals?" PitFTW repeated, "Great, if he's going to continue speaking like a malaproper, we'll have to translate what he says later on!"

"Okay, so here's what's going to happenstance in the contestinal." Link continued, "You two will be adjudicators of stories that closely resemble famous novels in historia. A parody or a burlesque, if you willever. It shall be monikered the Novelty Smasher Contest!"

"Um..."

"And now, I shall give you two a catalog of anecdotes that your lovely viewers can spoof." Link said, adjusting his monocle, "Why not checkatron this one for a spin?"

1. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald  
2. Night by Elie Wiesel  
3. The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas  
4. Around the World in 80 Days by Jules Verne  
5. Moby Dick by Herman Melville  
6. Great Expectations by Charles Dickens  
7. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain  
8. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain  
9. Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare  
10. Lord of the Flies by William Golding  
11. The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger  
12. And then there were None by Agatha Christie  
13. Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux  
14. A Midsummer Night's Dream by William Shakespeare  
15. Hamlet by William Shakespeare  
16. Macbeth by William Shakespeare  
17. Any of Edgar Allen Poe's stories  
18. The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood by Howard Pyle  
19. Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll  
20. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson  
21. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck  
22. Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens  
23. Oedipus the King by Sophocles  
24. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee  
25. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis

"These stories?" EC asked, "Okay, that sounds reasonable. ...But you still haven't explained in detail why you're wearing a monocle and talking like that."

"I am attempting to perceive myself as intelligentical, gash dab it." Link responded hastily.

Master Hand stepped in and pushed Link aside. "...I think I'll take it from here." he said, "Anyway, the viewers will be able to make a Super Smash Brothers parody of any of the stories on that list. If they have an idea of another story they would like to do, they can message either of you two for confirmation."

"Maybe we should do an example so people don't get confused." PitFTW said, "Let's pretend we're making a spoof of the Hunger Games novel. We might have Samus as Katniss and Snake as Peeta, and then we'd rewrite the general plot of the story... of course, make it shorter."

"And before any of you guys ask, The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, and Mockingjay are not acceptable stories. If we allowed that, think of how many Hunger Games stories would start popping up everywhere." EC said strictly.

Master Hand cleared his invisible throat. "Oh, and in addition to using the Smashers, Assist Trophies are also available for use. Feel free to turn Little Mac into Holden from Catcher in the Rye or Oliver from Oliver Twist."

"And the prize?" PitFTW asked, thinking for a moment, "How about a collaborative twoshot? Yeah, that sounds good! A collab twoshot shall be the prize!"

"Oh!" Link voice came from the other room, "Another criteria is to have one character don a half bifocal!"

EC blinked. "...Yeah... what he said. Someone has to be wearing a monocle in the story. ...But you need not make him sound as stupid as Link does at the moment."

"Oh!" Master Hand suddenly exclaimed, "Deadlines and limits! Deadlines and limits! You guys need a Story Length Limit and a Deadline!"

PitFTW thought for a few seconds. "Well, how about a month? A month sounds like enough time to pick a story, organize everything, and get writing."

"And as for the story length, calm yourselves! There's no word limit!" EC chimed in, "However, there is a Chapter Limit. We're putting the brake on five chapters. No more than that."

"Then I think everything is settled!" Master Hand said happily, "Okay, shall we go over the rules one more time?"

You will be making a story parodying a famous novel. Pick any one from the list above, and if you have a story to suggest, message either PitFTW or The Element Commander for approval.

1. Assist Trophies are usable.  
2. The story must be no longer than 5 Chapters long. There is no word limit.  
3. The deadline for this entire thing is on March 27, 2013.  
4. Someone must be wearing a monocle.

"Good!" Master Hand said, dipping his knuckles as if nodding his head, "Now, you two! Get to it! And if you refuse to do my bidding, there are some latrines that need to be cleaned out back! Shall I tell you that Wario is the one who uses them the most?"

And in a flash, the two authors were gone. Probably to hide all the cleaning equipment before Master Hand changes his mind and makes them clean the bathrooms anyway.

Hey. Who are you looking at? You have a story to write! GET ON IT!

Please leave a review or PM one of us if you would like to join this contest, and please mark your stories as "For EC's and PitFTW's contest" in your story summary! Good luck, have fun, don't let the bedbugs bite!

And don't forget to check out PitFTW's current story, Guardians Arise 2: The Awakening and my current story, We are the Smashers 2: The Spirit Master! We're like Sequel Superstars or something, hehe.

Just... get writing.


	2. Deadline Delayed! (More Arguing!)

The EC's and PitFTW's Novelty Smasher Contest

It was all hunky-dory at the Smash Mansion. The bluebird (Falco) was chirping, the cat (Mewtwo) was- Okay, we won't go through this again. But yeah, the same two authors were bickering... again.

"YOU CHEATED!" PitFTW screamed at The Element Commander, "YOUR ROOK WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ON THAT SPACE OVER THERE, NOT THE ONE IT'S ON NOW!"

"AND YOUR QUEEN IS SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BOARD!" EC shouted in an equally loud volume, "IT WAS NOT THERE LAST TURN!"

Like before, they each grabbed each other by the shoulders and tugged at each other, hurling the most pointless insults at each other like "Ticklish Restroom" and "Flickerpiss Nosescum" and "Hairy Opossum" and "Stupid Toaster" and the such.

Their pathetic fight was halted abruptly by someone's boot landing on their game board and scattering all the pieces everywhere. (One of them hit EC's glasses.) "Excuse me my pardon..." Link began, still wearing the stupid monocle on his face, "I just heard the duo of you two jabbickering and I simply had to interfeud and enterrupt because I am like a sir. Anyhoo, there just so happenstances to be an un-unpublic service announcement regarding to the conestinal you two are being arbitrators for."

It took a few moments for the two Authors to understand just what Link was saying, but they got it eventually. "Uh... okay." PitFTW said, standing up and deliberately dropping her knight piece down EC's shirt, "All right, we'll take care of this... un-unpublic service announcement."

EC took the knight out of his shirt and tossed it back at PitFTW. "Okay, so here's the deal. Apparently, there was this forum who found our little contest and posted it on their... whatever they have. Either way, it sparked new interest very late in the time we've given to work on the story. Because of this, we are EXTENDING THE DEADLINE for this contest."

"We're going to drag the poor deadline all the way to **April 26th**, okay?" PitFTW declared, "However, we can't drag this on forever, if you catch my drift. This may be the last and only time we delay the ending. After all, there are some people waiting to host a contest after us."

"So new writers, be thankful!" EC proclaimed, "Don't procrastinate, either!"

"That was an absotively, posilutely, magnificantical job!" Link exclaimed, a smile (and a stupid monocle) on his face, "Now, you two can resume your interchanging of wits. I have some important business I must attend to with Le Princess Zelda."

PitFTW and EC looked at each other, then the messy chess board, and then back to each other again. Then at the same time, one Author grabbed the other on the shoulders and started tugging again, shouting the most pointless insults ever heard by man.

"Immature Bunsen Burner!"

"Stinky Bicycle Wheel!"

"Squishy Laptop Computer!"

"Chubby Nintendo 3DS!"

"Lumbering Whale!"

"Corny Tree Trunk!"

"Uh... curses. ...Got any other ones?" EC asked.

PitFTW shook her head. "Nothing aside from a Skinny Windmill, but someone said the windmill already last time."

EC then shrugged. "Uh... okay then. ...Want a snack?"

"Sure! ...Pious Koffing."

"...Laconic Floorboard."

* * *

**All right, that's it! You have till April 26th! Go, go, go! Those who are already done, take the time to edit your stories! Do it! Noooooow!**


	3. The Winners! (Plus Arguing!)

The EC's and PitFTW's Novelty Smasher Contest

"You did WHAT with the scores?" PitFTW shouted, grabbing the Element Commander by the shoulders and shaking him violently.

"I didn't do anything with the scores!" EC replied, also grabbing PitFTW, "The scores got lost on their own!"

"Of course scores can get lost on their own!" she replied, rolling her eyes and still shaking, "They have feet and they lack a map!"

"Maybe we should have the Smashers search the trash can to see if they can find the scores in the trash!" he shouted, his glasses slowly falling off the bridge of his nose from all the shaking.

"That's a good idea! Why are we still shouting and shaking each other?"

"I don't know!"

"Then let's stop!"

"Okay!"

...

"I thought you said to stop!"

"...You didn't say please!"

XxShe Started ItxX

There were countless trash cans outside that day, just like any other day. I mean, if your house had about forty people living inside it, there would definitely be more than a few garbage cans full of trash, right? The EC and PitFTW found the trash cans easily. Now the question was, which can were the scores in? Well, that's why they have people like Link and Fox and Marth and... all those other people.

"Is this really necessary?" Fox asked, digging through one of the smelly trash cans, "I mean, why would one of you two be so careless to drop the scores in the trash?!"

"Well, it gives us an excuse as to why we took so long..." The EC mumbled.

"I think I got something!" Marth exclaimed, reaching deep into one of the cans, "There's a scrap of paper in here with a name and numbers on it! Unless it's one of the receipts, this should be the sheet with the scores on it!"

PitFTW glanced at it. "...That's the last place winner." she said, looking at the name, "EC, did you rip up the scores into different pieces?"

"Okay, now that wasn't me." EC replied, holding up his hands, "That was Ike brandishing a sword."

"Well, let's see what this little thing says." Marth says, trying to fan away the horrid smell of trash, "The last place winner is Super Saiyan Apple Core Paradoxx with his story Mario Hood Ornament Jackson and the Smashers: The Chicken Bone Smashball Thief!"

"...WHAT?" EC and PitFTW asked at the same time, the latter snatching the slip of paper away from Marth.

"You're supposed to read the words and ignore the random bits of trash still stuck on the slip!" she said, slightly annoyed, "It's Super Saiyan Paradoxx with his story called _Mario Jackson and the Smashers: The Smashball Thief_!"

"Oh yeah, I think we gave this a five out of ten for this one." EC said, looking at the slip, "Our notes here say it was incomplete. In fact, the first chapter wasn't even finished! It had great potential, however. So yeah, a generous five points for him."

"You earn the title of Slimy Broomstick!" PitFTW said, smiling. "Okay, now let's find the next place winner!"

Ten more minutes were spent with the Smashers and the two Authors searching for the next place winner. Link and Fox dug and dug through the trash, and EC and PitFTW... supervised.

"I think I finally found it!" Fox exclaimed, a fish bone behind one ear, "The fourth place winner is... well... there's a tie between two people! So it's third place, now! With a score of eight out of ten, Rene Broken Wire 10 with her story Down the Plastic Bag Rabbit Hole and To Do With Their Rotten Turnip Death by Jazz Nail Polish Apples!"

"Oh, for crying out loud..." EC mumbled, grabbing the slip of paper, "It's Rene10 with _Down the Rabbit Hole_ and JazzApples with_ To Do With Their Death_!"

"These two were both pretty nice." PitFTW said, "There were ups and down all around, but nothing really stood out with them. They almost felt hasty at times. You two earn the title of Bumbling Mousetraps! Now please, let's find the third place and try not to read the trash stuff as words this time."

"Like that will ever happen, knowing how crazy the Smashers are." EC added.

The female Author raised an eyebrow. "But you're the one writing this!"

"...Oh yeah."

"So here's the second place and the first place winner!" Link said, picking up two different scraps of paper from another trash can, "The only two left are Lady Paprika's story and Tune4Toons' story! One was about Alice in Wonderland and the other was about A Tale of Two Cities! But which one is the winner?"

"Please read on..."

"Well... uh..." Link said, trailing off, "It seems that I've having a hard time reading this thing. I don't know if I can read it..."

"You're giving the last two people a heart attack for crying out loud!" PitFTW said, annoyed, "Just read the thing!"

"Well, the first place winner has the letter N as the third letter in the title..." Link said, squinting.

"Both of the stories have the letter N as the third letter!" EC shouted, "Just cut to the quick and get on with it!"

"I think both Lady Paprika and Tune are on pins and needles right now..." PiTFTW commented. "Hurry up, Link! Tell us the results or else we'll force you to clean all the bathrooms as well as Diddy Kong!"

"Well, both of the titles have a ketchup stain in their names-"

"GIVE IT TO US!" EC and PiTFTW shouted, swiping the pieces of paper away from Link, "The second place winning story is_ Vengeance and Retribution_ and the first place winner is_ Monody_!"

"I expect to hear a biiiig shouting from wherever Tune is right now." EC said simply.

"Well, congrats, Tune!" PiTFTW said, smiling, "Lady Paprika, we gave you an 8.5/10 because of nice pairings, very descriptive details, and nice dialogue. You get the title of Freshly Cut Pine Trees! However, Tune managed to get past the silver gambit level and get a 9.5/10 for her amazing retelling of Alice in Wonderland. The dark nature, the various twists, and the relationship between Toon Link and Nana. Tune, you win the grand prize!"

"You get a collab twoshot!" EC declared, "We can work out how to do this in a PM, I'm sure."

"And that's all for The EC's and PitFTW's Novelty Smasher Contest!" PitFTW happily proclaimed, "I'm glad you all came and thank you all for watching!"

"YOU'RE glad?" EC asked her, "I'm pretty sure I'm glad, too!"

"I'm gladder than you are, dubious lizard!" PitFTW said, poking a finger in EC's chest.

"And I'm definitely more glad than you are, wrinkly doorstop!" EC retorted, grabbing PitFTW's shoulders.

"Diminutive world map!"

"Rusty Q-Tip!"

"Flat-footed Logitech microphone!"

"Crazy bobbin!"

"You wanna get something to eat, sharpened composition book?"

"...Sure, if you want, pale tulip."

Some things never change, do they?

* * *

And that's that! We hope you all have had a wonderful time reading (and waiting) with us! Tune, congrats! Please PM me! Also, a wonderful job to all of our other Authors who entered! I'm The Element Commander, author of We are the Smashers 2: The Spirit Master, and PitFTW, author of Guardians Arise 2: The Awakening, is also here!

We'll see you guys next time!


End file.
